Bad Resume

Human resources managers, if you’re looking for my actual resume, try the About Me page.

inspired by Steve Yegge

Objective: I am seeking a position as a self-employed executive.


  • 12 years of Sunday School
  • Applied to Bryn Mawr College
  • Accepted into University of Pennsylvania’s post-doc program; chose not to attend


  • Custom Latin motto designer – “semper ubi sub ubi” solum principium erat …
  • Formed a political party for women with the first name Sara (also Sarah)
  • Produced and sold hand-crafted crocheted hats, gloves, etc.

Job Titles


  • Calligraphy
  • Domestic Animal Calling (specializing in cats, chickens, and pigs)
  • Free Form Poetry Composition