Human resources managers, if you’re looking for my actual resume, try the About Me page.
BAD RESUME
inspired by Steve Yegge
http://steve-yegge.blogspot.com/2007/09/ten-tips-for-slightly-less-awful-resume.html
Objective: I am seeking a position as a self-employed executive.
Education:
- 12 years of Sunday School
- Applied to Bryn Mawr College
- Accepted into University of Pennsylvania’s post-doc program; chose not to attend
Experience
- Custom Latin motto designer – “semper ubi sub ubi” solum principium erat …
- Formed a political party for women with the first name Sara (also Sarah)http://sarahsara.wordpress.com/
- Produced and sold hand-crafted crocheted hats, gloves, etc.
Job Titles
- Pet sitter
http://www.lovingcarepetsolutions.net/about.htm - Popcorn vendor at Entertainment Cinemas
- Cafeteria Worker at The College of Wooster
Skills
- Calligraphy
- Domestic Animal Calling (specializing in cats, chickens, and pigs)
- Free Form Poetry Composition